Real.

I want something real. I do not want to go through these bullshit games of pretending not to care, when you actually do. Pretending that love isn’t real but always comes back to trying to love.

I want something real. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but damn. Sometime. Calling me to say how was your day? Or just wanting to know what my plans are for the future.

I want something real. Someone to grow with me, to grow together, build our hopes and dreams together. Heart wrenching love that builds you up and makes you feel so scared that it actually hurts in a good way.

I’ve only been in real love twice. People may not understand how a 14 year old can love someone forever. But I do. He’ll always be a love. Then again at 20, I fell into this love that was broken and betrayal and hate, but comfortable. It’s weird how that happens.

I want something real, no scratch that, someone real. Who holds my hand when things are scary, pulls me in when I’m about to cry, loves me for who I am, not the idea of who I am. Love is so hard to find, but even harder to hold on to.